fallchairheart: electric plan tricycle

Dear You,	�		�
I feel like the worlds biggest fool.� You say that Irsquo;m the one whorsquo;s there for you more than anyone.� You know you can ask me to call at any hour of the day or night, regardless of what Irsquo;m doing, and Irsquo;ll do it.� Irsquo;ll call experts, and pay them for their time and effort in order to investigate things.� Irsquo;ll call people that I want to kill and try to place nice for your sake.� And why? Because I love you. And damn me for that.� I try to understand that you canrsquo;t just switch on the love for me, just as I canrsquo;t just switch off my love for you.� But I still feel like a fucking idiot, when I get my hopes up, thinking that maybe, just maybe, yoursquo;re coming around.� When I start thinking that maybe, just maybe therersquo;s a chance for us in the future.� And that maybe, just maybe Irsquo;ll get to hold your hand, or give you a goodnight kiss.� But no ndash; I can settle for a hug.� And I will.� I will because I love you so much, that Irsquo;ll take what I can get.� And then you go out, quite possibly with someone else who wants your affection, and knowing that, my eyes start tearing up.� And I sit here praying to a god who doesnrsquo;t hear, for the heart of a girl who doesnrsquo;t care. Irsquo;m glad yoursquo;re not leading me on, but sometimes, honestly, I wish you would.� Knowing that Irsquo;m the one whorsquo;s here trying to pick up the pieces, reassure you, comfort you, investigate for you, try to make sense of what other people are thinking, and make educated predictions on the future . . . . . And knowing that a snowball has more of a chance in hell, than I have with you, I feel pretty fucking used.� But I do it without complaint ndash; BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.� And I canrsquo;t help but think ldquo;Gosh, Irsquo;d settle for her leading me on, because then at least Irsquo;d be happy being lied to, instead of miserable and lying to myselfrdquo;. I canrsquo;t deal with it anymore.�
�		Me
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